A Letter to Me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks. I have a billion other things I should be doing. My sweet friend Mattie is on her way to Columbia to be my date for my last sorority function of the semester. But here I am.
I wanted to share about my year, my struggles and my excitement and just everything that comes along with being a first year student.
After hearing a senior read a letter addressed to her freshman self out-loud at a Bible study this week, I decided what better way to share about my year than to write a letter addressed to myself on move in day last fall.
So instead of studying for my geology exam as much as I probably should've (good thing my future career is in writing instead of science), I sat and wrote this down.
Dear Freshman-Year-Move-In-Day Alana,
Hi. If you're reading this, know that you did survive.
It wasn't easy. It was actually really hard.
But you made it through.
And came out so much better than you were going in.
I know you're nervous about rush. Nervous about classes.. about your roommate.. about living on your own and making a life for yourself here.
Well let me ruin the surprise and tell you that you not only love everything about Carolina, but you're thriving. And you wouldn't change a thing about the past year.
You'll ask yourself if Columbia is for you.. if you chose the right place. But by the end of October you will be more than convinced that Columbia is truly home. At least for the next four years.
When you walk into Greek Village for the first time in August it will be overwhelming and you'll wonder if you are really supposed to try and find a "home" with all these people. You will. In fact, you'll love it so much that come sophomore year you'll be living in the sorority house in the best neighborhood in town-- Greek Village.
You'll wonder if you really can eat Russell House food for a whole semester... you'll make it through with lots of mac-n-cheese and plenty of chick fil a. And then second semester will come and you'll thank the Lord every Sunday night through Friday morning for the wonderful kitchen staff at KD.
I know you're worried about finding a church, and girls who are following the Lord. They are there. I promise. And not only is your new church pushing you so much to grow in your faith, but the girls you meet who love Jesus are running whole-heartedly after Him. And they will encourage you SO much. Without them you won't make it.
College classes seem overwhelming. And they still kinda are even after a year. But you can handle the work. Just stay motivated and remember that late nights in the library aren't always fun, but they pay off.
You'll want to drop Spanish after your first class, and you'll call dad and he'll tell you to email the professor and express your concerns.
You'll do this and then regret it when the professor is so intent on "helping" you learn, that he calls on you like FOUR times a class period to answer questions that you have no clue what the answers are.
But persevere, keep going, you'll pass the exam and never have to take it again.
The first KD new member meeting you go to will be overwhelming. You'll think "how in the world can I be friends with all these people"??
And then by April you'll say, how is it that I survived without all these girls before?
Go to all the football games, and a couple soccer games, and at least one basketball game. You'll be so glad you did. There's nothing like standing in the student section screaming as your team is so close to scoring.
Also baseball games.. even though you don't like baseball, the ice-cream is AWESOME.
Keep in touch with your high school friends too. You will all grow in different ways, and find new people. But when you accidentally trip up the stairs, or find a funny "happy friday" picture, they are the ones you want to share it with. And they will still love you no matter how many miles apart you are. And the sweet seniors at home. They miss you just as much as you miss them.
Oh, and be thankful for the friend in Columbia. She will save you hundreds of times in hundreds of different ways before the school year is over. And love you no matter how many times in a row you text her without her responding.
Speaking of friends.. I know how freaked out you are that you won't make any.
I wish I could pinpoint when it happened, but one day you'll wake up and realize just how many wonderful friendships you've made and it will make you want to cry because you are SO grateful.
You'll look around the dinner table and smile because you didn't know a single one of these girls before August, and now they are the ones you spend 99% of your time with.. and you wouldn't change it for anything.
They'll be sorority sisters. They'll live down the hall. They'll be friends you've met in classes. But they're there. So keep smiling. Make the awkward small talk. I promise, you will have so so many amazing people in your life that you are dreading leaving for the summer.
And as for the summer?
You're going to be headed to an awesome internship. And even though almost all of second semester you aren't sure if that's where the Lord is leading you, it is. So please, just trust that He is good, that He knows what He is doing, and that He will lead you where you're supposed to go.
Just surrender to Him.
It makes life a lot easier.
Also, you'll miss your kids SO much. Tuesdays will roll around, and you'll find yourself imagining what they're doing, how the class is going, and whether they miss you.
They will.
And when you get to see them, surprise them, drop in... it will make your heart so happy.
Because you won't forget them. You can't.
I won't lie, it was a hard year. There were many challenges. You'll still be recovering from losing one grandmother, when you lose the other. You'll pick up the phone to call them only to remember they wouldn't be the ones answering.
And that'll be difficult.
You'll really hurt your knee and it will be one of the most frustrating experiences you've ever faced. The very independent girl will suddenly be very dependent on everyone else. And it will cause you to learn patience in a very dramatic way, and to be humble and ask for help.
Your computer will break not once, but twice and cause you to trust that the Lord will provide for you when all your notes are on your broken computer.
And He will.
Your classes will sometimes seem impossible. That night where you stayed in the library until 2:30 (yes dad, my friends walked me home, I did not walk alone) will seem pointless when you don't do as well on the assignment as you think you should've. You'll cry on the phone with dad telling him that your writing class is terrible and the professor is awful and you're not going to pass, and he'll tell you just to keep going and it will be hard BUT YOU WILL MAKE IT.
You'll be in situations where things don't turn out as planned. And that will frustrate you so much. You won't understand why it happened, or if you're going to be okay.
But you will be.
As Tim McGraw said, chase your dreams but always know the road that'll take you home again. Know that your dad will always be there, even when you're worried he's busy. No matter if it's just because you're in the mood to talk, or someone cuts you off on the way back from target and it makes you angry (this has happened multiple times, stupid Columbia drivers), or you want to talk about how absolutely horrible your professor is. He'll listen and then when you finish he will encourage you, tell you to keep going, and that he loves you. And several times it'll make you cry, just because you're so incredibly thankful for how much he supports you.
You'll be nervous about how college friends would receive your blog. You'll be really nervous when you post a real, deep, raw blog about your mom and the struggles you face with missing her. And then you will be shocked when over a thousand people read it. The Lord will use your writing in some crazy ways, and you will be incredibly thankful for that.
So Alana, on your first day, as you begin to hang up pictures and put clothes in drawers.. take some advice from looking-back Alana, who's currently one week from being done with her freshman year, in a KD t-shirt and leggings, wearing two different socks because she needs to do laundry, hurrying to finish typing this so she can get dressed to go to her last sorority function of the semester.
Keep going. Even when you feel like giving up.
Run your own race. Stay true to yourself.
And above all, trust in the Lord. Trust Him that you are where you're supposed to be.
Trust that He is going to take care of you.
He cares for the birds and the flowers. He will care for you. And His plans.. oh how good they are.
26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:26-33
Love,
A-little-wiser and a-little-older Alana
I wanted to share about my year, my struggles and my excitement and just everything that comes along with being a first year student.
After hearing a senior read a letter addressed to her freshman self out-loud at a Bible study this week, I decided what better way to share about my year than to write a letter addressed to myself on move in day last fall.
So instead of studying for my geology exam as much as I probably should've (good thing my future career is in writing instead of science), I sat and wrote this down.
Dear Freshman-Year-Move-In-Day Alana,
Hi. If you're reading this, know that you did survive.
It wasn't easy. It was actually really hard.
But you made it through.
And came out so much better than you were going in.
I know you're nervous about rush. Nervous about classes.. about your roommate.. about living on your own and making a life for yourself here.
Well let me ruin the surprise and tell you that you not only love everything about Carolina, but you're thriving. And you wouldn't change a thing about the past year.
You'll ask yourself if Columbia is for you.. if you chose the right place. But by the end of October you will be more than convinced that Columbia is truly home. At least for the next four years.
When you walk into Greek Village for the first time in August it will be overwhelming and you'll wonder if you are really supposed to try and find a "home" with all these people. You will. In fact, you'll love it so much that come sophomore year you'll be living in the sorority house in the best neighborhood in town-- Greek Village.
 |
| So excited to live with Liz next year!! |
I know you're worried about finding a church, and girls who are following the Lord. They are there. I promise. And not only is your new church pushing you so much to grow in your faith, but the girls you meet who love Jesus are running whole-heartedly after Him. And they will encourage you SO much. Without them you won't make it.
College classes seem overwhelming. And they still kinda are even after a year. But you can handle the work. Just stay motivated and remember that late nights in the library aren't always fun, but they pay off.
You'll want to drop Spanish after your first class, and you'll call dad and he'll tell you to email the professor and express your concerns.
You'll do this and then regret it when the professor is so intent on "helping" you learn, that he calls on you like FOUR times a class period to answer questions that you have no clue what the answers are.
But persevere, keep going, you'll pass the exam and never have to take it again.
The first KD new member meeting you go to will be overwhelming. You'll think "how in the world can I be friends with all these people"??
And then by April you'll say, how is it that I survived without all these girls before?
Go to all the football games, and a couple soccer games, and at least one basketball game. You'll be so glad you did. There's nothing like standing in the student section screaming as your team is so close to scoring.
Also baseball games.. even though you don't like baseball, the ice-cream is AWESOME.
Keep in touch with your high school friends too. You will all grow in different ways, and find new people. But when you accidentally trip up the stairs, or find a funny "happy friday" picture, they are the ones you want to share it with. And they will still love you no matter how many miles apart you are. And the sweet seniors at home. They miss you just as much as you miss them.
Speaking of friends.. I know how freaked out you are that you won't make any.
I wish I could pinpoint when it happened, but one day you'll wake up and realize just how many wonderful friendships you've made and it will make you want to cry because you are SO grateful.
You'll look around the dinner table and smile because you didn't know a single one of these girls before August, and now they are the ones you spend 99% of your time with.. and you wouldn't change it for anything.
They'll be sorority sisters. They'll live down the hall. They'll be friends you've met in classes. But they're there. So keep smiling. Make the awkward small talk. I promise, you will have so so many amazing people in your life that you are dreading leaving for the summer.
You're going to be headed to an awesome internship. And even though almost all of second semester you aren't sure if that's where the Lord is leading you, it is. So please, just trust that He is good, that He knows what He is doing, and that He will lead you where you're supposed to go.
Just surrender to Him.
It makes life a lot easier.
Also, you'll miss your kids SO much. Tuesdays will roll around, and you'll find yourself imagining what they're doing, how the class is going, and whether they miss you.
They will.
And when you get to see them, surprise them, drop in... it will make your heart so happy.
Because you won't forget them. You can't.
I won't lie, it was a hard year. There were many challenges. You'll still be recovering from losing one grandmother, when you lose the other. You'll pick up the phone to call them only to remember they wouldn't be the ones answering.
And that'll be difficult.
You'll really hurt your knee and it will be one of the most frustrating experiences you've ever faced. The very independent girl will suddenly be very dependent on everyone else. And it will cause you to learn patience in a very dramatic way, and to be humble and ask for help.
Your computer will break not once, but twice and cause you to trust that the Lord will provide for you when all your notes are on your broken computer.
And He will.
 |
| Only picture I took with my original knee brace. |
Your classes will sometimes seem impossible. That night where you stayed in the library until 2:30 (yes dad, my friends walked me home, I did not walk alone) will seem pointless when you don't do as well on the assignment as you think you should've. You'll cry on the phone with dad telling him that your writing class is terrible and the professor is awful and you're not going to pass, and he'll tell you just to keep going and it will be hard BUT YOU WILL MAKE IT.
You'll be in situations where things don't turn out as planned. And that will frustrate you so much. You won't understand why it happened, or if you're going to be okay.
But you will be.
As Tim McGraw said, chase your dreams but always know the road that'll take you home again. Know that your dad will always be there, even when you're worried he's busy. No matter if it's just because you're in the mood to talk, or someone cuts you off on the way back from target and it makes you angry (this has happened multiple times, stupid Columbia drivers), or you want to talk about how absolutely horrible your professor is. He'll listen and then when you finish he will encourage you, tell you to keep going, and that he loves you. And several times it'll make you cry, just because you're so incredibly thankful for how much he supports you.
You'll be nervous about how college friends would receive your blog. You'll be really nervous when you post a real, deep, raw blog about your mom and the struggles you face with missing her. And then you will be shocked when over a thousand people read it. The Lord will use your writing in some crazy ways, and you will be incredibly thankful for that.
So Alana, on your first day, as you begin to hang up pictures and put clothes in drawers.. take some advice from looking-back Alana, who's currently one week from being done with her freshman year, in a KD t-shirt and leggings, wearing two different socks because she needs to do laundry, hurrying to finish typing this so she can get dressed to go to her last sorority function of the semester.
 |
| Be yourself and when Liz says "Take a picture with this coconut!!", smile and take the picture. |
Keep going. Even when you feel like giving up.
Run your own race. Stay true to yourself.
And above all, trust in the Lord. Trust Him that you are where you're supposed to be.
Trust that He is going to take care of you.
He cares for the birds and the flowers. He will care for you. And His plans.. oh how good they are.
26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:26-33
Love,
A-little-wiser and a-little-older Alana
