Reality Check times 2

Why is it that I get the most motivated to type a post when I have homework to do? I've always been a procrastinator but for some reason I just really want to type when I know I need to be doing pre-cal or tech work. Oh well. I just wanted to share some things that have been on my mind lately. 

Two things that caused me to have a major reality check today. I mean major.
Earlier today I was sitting outside of starbucks doing my tech work for my English 101 class. If you're unfamiliar with Dual Credit, basically I take college classes while still in high school, through FDTC and get college credit and high school credit. It's super helpful, and right now I'm taking English. So like I said, I am sitting outside of starbucks drinking my four dollar coffee, typing on my Mac, playing with my iPhone (more procrastinating), and wearing the, what I feel like at least, is the typical white girl outfit of a tshirt and leggings. I'm not complaining, I wear this outfit ALL THE TIME, but it's a pretty stereotypical outfit right now. And so I'm just working away (or at least trying..) when I see this man. He looked like he was in his late 50's-early 60's, but he was obviously down on his luck. His clothes were raggedy looking, his beard was kinda rougher, and he didn't really look clean. I noticed that he was sitting at a table behind me, I wasn't faced toward him but I could hear the conversations he had with people. The first one I heard was one this man had with a 60ish year old man, well-off looking in his suit and tie, driving his Range Rover. I heard this raggedy looking man ask the older man if he had any work he could do for him in exchange for some money. I was pretty taken aback by the rude response the 60ish year old man gave him.. saying no that he didn't have any type of "THAT" work. However, the raggedy looking man said thank you anyways, was perfectly polite and came and sat back down at the table behind me. Then I heard him talking with a man who sounded a little younger.. I stealthily turned around to get a glimpse and saw a man, once again nicely dressed but more casual than the previous older man. I saw he had taken his wallet out of his back pocket. I turned my head back around and heard their conversation.. I take it the man had once again asked for work in exchange for money, because the next part I heard was no sir, thank you but I prefer to work for my money. I heard the younger guy offering to go buy him some food, and the raggedy man saying that he appreciated it but he'd rather work for his money. He told the younger man to save that money for someone who couldn't work for it. By the time they had finished their conversation I had naturally given up doing my tech paper (of course) and was thinking about the man. At first, I had been kinda nervous he would come up to me and ask me for money and it would be really uncomfortable. Growing up dad has always taught me about "situational awareness" which he continues to remind me constantly to be aware of my surroundings. And I am super thankful for that, I am in no way saying that being aware is bad, it's really important. However I realized that I had so quickly judged the man when I first saw him as someone who wanted my money to go buy drugs or alcohol or something. I mean, I have no clue, he very well could be interested in getting money for those purposes.. But my point is that no matter who he dealt with, the older man who was extremely rude, or the younger man who was nice but didn't understand the man's objection to his money, he was equally nice and extremely polite. Also, the fact that he was insistent on working for his money and told the man who wanted to just give it to him to give it to someone who couldn't work.. I don't know. It just really hit me. As previously stated, I was sitting there with my $4 coffee typing on Mac. And this man was trying to find some work to earn money. I am constantly reminded how blessed I am. And I take that for granted so easily.

To break the monotony of so many words, enjoy this picture of the Great Escape 2014 leaders. It is totally appropriate for this spot because it was taken outside of a Starbucks.

This leads to my second reality check. So I'm in PEARLS which, for those of you from Florence, it's Tri-Hi-Y without being involved with the YMCA. It's PEARLS. Same idea though. We do service projects, and this one was for Operation Christmas Child, you know chose the gender and age and pack a shoe box. Trip to the dollar store, find some toys and a toothbrush and some pencils, maybe some stickers or socks or something. I've done it many times, for different clubs, church, etc. But today as I was in the dollar store trying to decide what to put in my box it hit me. I am in charge of a child's Christmas present.. and this may be the only thing they get for Christmas. This may be the only present they will get this whole year. Wow. Even as I type this, that feeling hits me again. I'm 17 and this will be like my 18th Christmas (I was born in July so I had my first Christmas at 5 mths so I think 18's right), and I can't tell you probably even 1/4 of the gifts I've received over the past 18 Christmases. But for these kids that these shoeboxes are going to.. this is it. And I suddenly realized how careless I have been with these gifts. These are so special to these kids. And I am IN CHARGE of it. Sitting in the toy aisle in the Dollar Store at 5:15 this afternoon it hit me that this was way more important than I have made it in the past. And so I took time this year. I thought about what I was putting in. I prayed that I would choose the right things and that God would put my box with the child that really wanted what was in it. The kids that these boxes go to deserve just as good of a Christmas as I do.

Another break from words.. Bryan and I sophomore year. This pic is relevant because it was before the Pearls dance. Also, he looks super young and I feel like I look the same.

I realized today that lately I have been a spoiled brat. Hopefully, no one has noticed. I work hard to hide it. But these past few weeks I have been so caught up in what God hasn't given me, that I have forgotten to thank Him for what He HAS given me. Seeing that typed on my screen makes me realize how so true it is. Do you know what just came on my pandora? "Oh praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead"- Jesus Paid it All by Kristian Stanfill (go check it out). I have this amazing life. I am so incredibly blessed with my family and so many friends who LOVE me so much. I have this house that is beautiful and has electricity and running water and a roof and heat and AC. And do you know what I've been concerned about lately? Why God has allowed certain friends of mine to have silly things that I want. Things that I don't need. I have been so consumed with coveting lately, and jealousy that I forgot how much God has given me. Today, I had some major reality checks.
One more thing. Tonight we had youth. About 3 years ago I joined the Wednesday night high school girl's small group led by Taiter and while the girls involved have changed from the girls older than me, to now including the girls younger than me, it never fails to encourage me. Tonight we were studying prayer and one of the activities was to look at Psalm 116 and talk about some of things God does for us/we should thank Him for. While looking through this Psalm I discovered verse 7. It hit me. Deep.
"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." 
Be at rest oh my soul. Incredible how many times I need to say that to myself. And as I remind myself today to stop wanting what everyone else has, I also remind myself that the Lord has been good to me. I remind myself not to worry about what I don't have and to instead be at rest.

Some of the original High School Girls Wednesday Night Small Group members 

at Fun In the Son my freshman year.

Okay so I know I said one more thing, and I could go back and just change it but I don't want to do that so instead here's the LAST thing I promise. When my mom went to be with Jesus in 2008, I was 10. Rough time obviously. At her funeral one of the songs played was "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercyme. It was during that song that I cried, the only time I cried that whole day. It hit me hard. It's been 6 years and every time I hear that song, I tear up. Do you know what's funny? On the first day of school every year for the past 6 years, I Can Only Imagine by Mercyme has played while I was getting dressed, both on the radio and then Pandora. The night before I had to present a project in 9th grade I was terrified and I Can Only Imagine came on Pandora. In 10th grade I had to give this speech and I cried myself to sleep the night before because I was TERRIFIED of speaking in front of a class with no notes and when I woke up the next morning it was the first song I heard. Last year it came on many times. Before Mr. West Florence while I was getting dressed, when I was so stressed about everything going perfect (I'm Tennis Club Pres and last year was VP and we are in charge of Mr. WF). Before Miss West Florence when I was freaked out because um I was in Miss WF. Before prom, when I was really really missing my mom. Before my 7 minute long presentation in AP US History on Barbara Walters that I was required to give with no notes.
All those times and SO many more, that song has come on. Specifically when I am really doubting God's perfect plan, and/or I am really missing my mom. I don't really believe in spirits or anything but I do believe that God sends us signs to remind us of Him. And on all those occasions, I have been reminded that she's in Heaven with God and that she sees everything thats going on.. and I like to believe that she likes it. And so when I hear that song I'm reminded of her and the fact that one day I'll be with her again.

In case you're wondering, that song just came on pandora. I am so thankful for God and His reminders.

Love this pic so much.

If you got to the end of this blog post, you deserve a cookie or something because it is L-o-n-g. Thanks for reading. I am such a night owl. Gonna go start homework now. And focus on being thankful. 'Tis the season. well.. almost.