Saying Yes in 2016

Do you ever have the problem of knowing that you want to say something, but not knowing how you want to say it?

That's been me for the past month. Seriously.

Christmas with Jess

This will be my 8th, and I'm determined to let it be my final, attempt at writing this post.

All my other writings have been good, but they just didn't turn out how I wanted them to.
So here I am, back in my little writing nook that is the Panera near Target, starting fresh.

I blame business of life first. Life got crazy. Christmas, and then New Years, and then I was sick, and then back to school.

One of these is not like the others… still love my Clemson girls. 

And then I started my media writing class……
And anything I ever thought I knew of writing was WRONG.

Okay, maybe I'm being a little over-dramatic. But in reality, this class is mandatory for me as a PR major.. however it is meant for those wanting to work as journalists. Like for newspapers. We are writing stories about robberies, road construction, and ramblings of the state legislature.

And that is not what I want to do with my life.

Listening to a professor tell you what you are doing is wrong, wrong, wrong and cutting off the majority of your creativity really frustrated me. If it's not "AP Style", it's not right.

But, for all my criticism, I am learning. So much. It's challenging but I'm learning.

Anyways, going back to my original statement, I didn't blog for a while longer because I was discouraged that everything I was blogging was wrong and not readable and not interesting.

AND THEN I had a revelation.

This is MY blog. Not my professors (who doesn't even know it exists), not the school of Journalism's, not my friends, mine.

And so I will say whatever I want, however I want, and I may not even use correct AP style.

And that is just fine with me.

So those are the two reasons I've been telling myself were why I haven't been blogging.

Let me fill you in on the real life reason. The true legit reason I refused to blog for a few weeks.

Because I didn't want to say yes.

What in the world do you mean, Alana? That sentence makes zero sense. Say yes to who? To what? Why were you refusing? When were you refusing?????
(Sorry that is the media writing class instructions.. it just pops out every now and then.)

I didn't want to say yes to God.

Silly isn't it.

The title of my blog, His purpose not my plans.

And yet when God said, okay Alana, time to follow my plans, I refused to listen.

I didn't say no. Well I pretty much did. I just didn't want to listen. I turned my head, and in all honesty I turned my heart.

I know you must be dying with suspense to know what I said no to.

I said no to giving Him control.

Typical of me, right? That has always been my struggle. I fear that it will be something I struggle with for the rest of my life.

God wanted me to surrender my summer 2016 plans to Him, and I said no.

He wanted me to give up my summer in order to serve Him by serving others, and I did not want to hear it.

No, God. Why would I waste what could be my last summer before major internships? 

And God told me again, and again.. I want you to serve me. I want you to serve my people. 

And I said No. Absolutely not. This will never work. There are too many obstacles.

And by that, I mean that I looked into internships, decided it wasn't for me, and put my thoughts away from it.

I said, no. God. They won't want me, I'm only a freshman. I don't have a place to live. I don't even know where to apply. This is not for me God. There are too many things that would have to happen.

And then I went to Passion 2016. And as it was supposed to happen, God used powerful speakers to tell me, yet again, to GO. To serve Him.

Passion 2016 with my two sweet sweet friends.

Especially through my girl, Christine Caine. If you don't know who she is, you need to look her up. She is such a wonderful speaker that God uses to speak to thousands and thousands.

And do you know what Christine talked about at Passion?

FAITH. 

God knows what's going on, and if it's supposed to happen, it's gonna happen.

And then she brought up another point. 

We all want to change the world. We do. We want to be the one who makes it better.

But in order to do that, we have to allow God to build us up in obscurity. We have to serve others in order to build up our character. 

She made the quote that my generation just wants to run into the spotlight. We want to be the biggest star and we want the entire world to know it. We want to be the center of attention. But without the light of Christ in us, without Him building us up, the spotlight will 

burn

us

up.

That hit home with me. How often do I tell myself I want to make a difference? How often do I think that I want to be the one to make a change?

And God reminded me through Christine that in order to do that, I have to serve Him in small ways first. I can't just run out into the spotlight. 

Christine also said that night,

"We want to do spectacular things FOR God, we just don't want to SERVE God." 

That hit me too.

AND THEN GOD REALLY HIT ME HARD. Capitalizing this for emphasis, cause there is emphasis.

She began to talk about the impossible.

How impossible is where God starts. 

How what God has for you is better than anything you could ever have for yourself.

And my heart was softened. And that night, I said okay God. If this is where you want me headed, then fine. I will consider it. I will think more on it. 

(I feel like God laughed a little after he heard that. Like Hahaha Alana, okay, if that's what you think.)

And then when I came home, a book I had ordered came in. 

"Kisses from Katie".

It is an INCREDIBLE book. I love books, I've read a lot a lot of books, and this is by far my favorite book I have ever read.

Kisses from Katie is a true story, written about Katie Davis. At the age of 18, Katie left her comfortable home in America to move to Uganda and serve those there in the name of Jesus. She now has adopted 14 (yes, 14) daughters and runs her own non-profit organization. She works with the lowest of the low. Her organization, supported by donors from the US, pays for school fees for the poorest of the poor children, provides them with food, and she gets to teach them of the love of Jesus.

Seriously go buy the book you will not regret it.

Also, I am not currently planing on moving to Uganda or any other foreign nation if you are concerned, as my father was, after hearing me rave about this book.

GO BUY THIS BOOK. AMAZON. GO NOW. 

But what got me, over and over again, was different passages from the book. How again and again God would provide for Katie, how He made the impossible happen, and how her faith kept her going when all else was failing. 

I'm going to share some of my most favorite quotes that really influenced me.

"I believe that God is in control, yes, but I also believe I have a choice: I can follow Him or I can turn my back on Him. I can say yes to Him, or I can say no. I can go to the hard places or I can remain comfortable. And if I remain comfortable, God who loves us unconditionally will continue to love me anyways. I may still see His glory revealed in my life and recognize His blessings, but not like I could have. I can miss the will of God." (page 134).

"We read these stories and think they are awesome examples of God's amazing power and love and yet sometimes we don't really believe they could still be possible. We think that maybe Moses, Abraham, Joshua, Noah, or the disciples had something we don't. But I don't think that is true; God is the same, yesterday, today, and always. And we are all created in His image. This means that all these impossible things could just as easily happen for us too" (page 153).

And then there is the introduction by Katie, words that I have re and re-read. 

"It may take place in a foreign land or it may take place in your backyard, but I believe that we were each created to change the world for someone. To serve someone. To love someone the way Christ first loved us, to spread His light. This is the dream, and it is possible. Some days it is excruciatingly difficult, but the blessings far outweigh the hardships." (XXI). 

And so the night I finished this book, I sat in my top bunk in my room at school, and my roommate was laying in her bed with her headphones on, and I thought to myself,

OKAY GOD. I WILL STOP SAYING NO.

As I realized that God really was asking me to put my complete trust in Him and His plans. 

And I finally said what God had been asking me for a month, and I said yes.

Yes. I will apply for a summer missions internship.

And that is where I'm at right now. I found a ministry, a program, and I have applied. 

There are some complications though. I don't know if it will work out. I really really don't. 

But I know that God is leading, He has already cleared several obstacles, and if this is where he is calling me, this is where I will end up going.

Charleston trip with my darling best friend, who has encouraged me this whole time to say yes.

And if it doesn't work out, He will lead me somewhere else.

And all of that leads me to this, My New Year's Resolution of 2016.

To say yes. Yes, God. I will listen. 

Yes God, I will follow.

Yes God, I will trust that You know the best plans for me.

What about you?

What are you saying no to? 

What is God asking you to do that you are refusing?

That's my challenge to you my friends, my readers.

What will you say yes to this year? 

Is it giving your heart completely to Jesus?

Is it finally allowing Him full control? (aka me)

Is it giving up things that are not allowing you to grow in Him?

I encourage each of you, say YES to God. 

Because I have already been realizing that God's ways… oh how much better they are. 

God will do the impossible. All we have to do is say yes. 

One of my favorite Christian songs is "Oceans" by Hillsong.

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever you would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith would be made strong
In the presence of my Savior"

(Go listen to it, it's better than just reading it.)

So that's my prayer for this year. That God would use me to influence people, to bring glory to His name. To take me out of my comfort zone, out of my borders, and walk where He calls me. To trust in
Him.

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

Say yes to God this year. You won't regret it.

Thanks for reading my not AP style post. Going to go start my homework now.