His Purpose, Not My Plans

'Tis the season, or so they say. It's only November 29th, and already the stores are bustling, the decorations are out, traffic is crazy, and the stress of the season is setting in. If you read my post a couple weeks ago, you know that it's been a challenging season for me. And I wish I could say that as soon as I made that post things dramatically turned around and life has been nothing but great since then.. but that wouldn't be true. But, even in the midst of frustration and doubt and confusion, I have been amazed at just how wonderful my time with the Lord has been every morning. I started a new study through She Reads Truth, which was based off of traditional hymns with verses and a devotion each day. Come, thou fount of every blessing. It is well with my soul. I need thee every hour. Be thou my vision. His eye is on the sparrow. Great is thy faithfulness. Hymns of peace, of trust, of realizing that the Lord is in control. And then last week, I read...

If there is anything I have learned over the past two years of writing this blog, it is that when I am the most vulnerable and the most real .. that is when I hit the most people with the love of the Father. So here we go again. In keeping with the theme of letters, this one is directed to myself. And let me just say that I really, really needed to write it, and now read it about 100 times. Dear me, Hello there self. You're sitting in Starbucks, at your favorite table near the window, in the middle of the afternoon on a Monday. You had to step away from campus to get work done.. and just to breathe. It's been a really, really hard two weeks. There's no denying it. Things, multiple things, didn't go as you wanted them to. There were incidents with automobiles. Onlines quizzes had changed due dates.. that you didn't realize. You got sick, not once but several times and basically didn't eat for a week because of it. Life is so incredibly hard for...

Hey there friends. I didn't really expect to turn this into a type of series when I started, but this is just where I'm at right now. And this is the next letter. I hope you are able to share it with someone who needs some encouragement today.  To the Lady in the Hat: Hello ma'am. I see you in the grocery store, pushing your cart along the vegetable aisles in the produce section.  You're probably picking up groceries for your family. I see some oreos and juice boxes in the cart.  I also see that hat on your head. Not the "casual" "messy but not messy" baseball cap look. It's the kind of hat you wear when there's not much, or any, hair on your head. And as you stop to get that bag of potatoes from the bottom shelf, I see you put it in your cart, and bow your head and take a deep breath. I want more than anything to hug you friend, and tell you that it will be okay.  I can see that things aren...

To the girl with a Plan:  You know who you are.  You have the Pinterest boards.  You have the ideas.  You have ...THE.. Plan. You will find prince charming before college graduation. He'll propose spring semester (that ring by spring). You'll get married that fall, and both have wonderful jobs that fully support you and the crazy travel excursions you'll wanna take. A few years later, when the timing is perfect, you'll decided to have a family. And you'll move to your dream home in your dream town, and have weekly Tuesday brunch with your best friends. And then the kids will go to college, and you'll stay involved in volunteer work of course, life will go on just splendidly, and at the ripe age of 97 you and your husband will die at the same time thus preventing any tragedy.  Oh my friend, if only God worked that way.  He doesn't. You might not ever find prince charming. That perfect job of yours falls through. You lose a child. A...

Most Mondays I wake up early with a goal of getting homework accomplished. I head to my favorite coffee shop, and try to start my week off productively. And then every now and then there are Mondays like this. When I come with every intention of doing homework, and instead cannot stop writing. So here I am. And I have something to say. To the girl in the blue dress at church yesterday: I saw you. I saw the way you looked at the girl next to you in the row. I saw how you looked at her shoes, and then your shoes. Her outfit, and then your dress. I saw how you looked at her body, and then looked with sadness at your own. I saw how, in a matter of ten seconds, your mindset changed and you began to see her image as the perfect one, and tear yourself down for not being the same. And friend, I am so sorry. I am sorry that you are taught to think that someone else is the perfect version of you. (She's not.) I am sorry that tv shows say that you have to have perfectly strai...

I forgot how much I loved Columbia. It's a warm and sunny Friday afternoon here in Cola, and I'm back in my favorite nook of my favorite coffee shop here in town. The one where I tend to get a lot accomplished, so hoping for big things here. Me and some of my nearest and dearest The first day of class was yesterday, and as was expected, went well. Another year full of studying and tests and papers and quizzes and a lot of knowledge. And I think I'm ready for it. Better be, right? It's nice to be back. Back in the place where I'm learning and growing and surrounded by my dearest friends (literally living with them!). I can't imagine being anywhere else. It is so comforting to know that the Lord guides our every steps. That He knows what He is doing when He places us in certain situations, or puts certain people in our lives. Or when He leads you to create a blog. Like when He put it on my heart to share my words TWO YEARS ago this week.  How we ...

It is late, and I am tired. But for some odd reason, this is often the time that the Lord puts on me to write. To share. So here I am. For years I have prayed and asked the Lord to lead me where He wants me.  I have asked Him to show me where and how to serve Him. And I have, for the most part, followed Him. I have worked at VBS, I have packed meals, I have organized fundraisers, and of course, I spent two months of my summer working as an unpaid intern for Friends of Refugees summer camp. But yet, when God presented me with an opportunity to grow a ministry that I have fallen deeply and truly in love with , that I have spent thousands of hours at, to serve Him... I said.. no. God. No. I am too young . Find someone older. Someone with more experience and contacts and resources. Anyone but me. I can't do this. And then slowly, slowly, He has chiseled away at my resistance. He has softened my heart. He has shown me that it is not by my own strength to ...