Saying Yes. Again.
It is late, and I am tired.
But for some odd reason, this is often the time that the Lord puts on me to write. To share.
So here I am.
For years I have prayed and asked the Lord to lead me where He wants me.
I have asked Him to show me where and how to serve Him.
And I have, for the most part, followed Him.
I have worked at VBS, I have packed meals, I have organized fundraisers, and of course, I spent two months of my summer working as an unpaid intern for Friends of Refugees summer camp.
But yet, when God presented me with an opportunity to grow a ministry that I have fallen deeply and truly in love with, that I have spent thousands of hours at, to serve Him...
I said.. no.
God. No. I am too young. Find someone older. Someone with more experience and contacts and resources.
Anyone but me. I can't do this.
And then slowly, slowly, He has chiseled away at my resistance.
He has softened my heart.
He has shown me that it is not by my own strength to do this, but through and by and for Him and His glory alone.
He has been working this for His glory since that fateful week of camp almost five years ago when I arrived at East Florence Mission for the first ever time to help with the First Pres youth group.
Every lesson I taught in that small building. Every craft I've prepared. Every story I've shared with someone else about how God is moving through that ministry.
All of the things I've learned this summer in Clarkston about ministry and serving families and working with kids and how to lead them to Jesus in a way that helps and doesn't hinder and create disciples.
All of these things.. All for His plans.
His perfect, perfect plans that aren't mine.
So tonight, as I sat through reading old blogs that I've posted about my kids.. as tears rolled down my face at just how much I love them.. as I thought about just how much they have blessed me..
I give in.
I say yes.
You, God, You have put this on my heart for a long long time. You orchestrated that in Clarkston my heart would be burdened for You, and for EFM, and for Your children there.
And so tonight I say yes.
Tonight I realize how you put me in the situations I was placed in, to help me learn.
Tonight I realize how getting extremely sick in Clarkston reminded me that I am in dire dire need of you, as I am not invincible and seriously need You.
Tonight I see how you were teaching me, as I taught the story of David and Goliath to the EFM kids at camp last week that David was also unexperienced and young and only armed with five stones and sling.. but YOU were with him Father, and he killed the giant through you.
So, tonight I say yes to serving you at EFM. Again. In a more serious role this time.
A role that is yet to be defined, but will be a lot more intensive than in the past.
I say yes to helping create a new era of East Florence Mission.
I say yes to knowing that You are good and wise and Your plans are perfect, even when I think they will not work.
Tonight Jesus, I ask you to take this poor broken sinner and use her to bring others to you, to show YOUR glory.
Two months ago, during our orientation week at camp I wrote this down. And tonight, as I re-read it, it hits me even more.
"Lord. I have ideas. Lots of ideas. Lots of things that I feel like You can help me lead.
God I put this in Your hands. I give this to You Jesus.
I am here in Clarkston for six more weeks. And I will serve you faithfully here. But Florence will always be my home. EFM will always have my heart.
I want to make a change for you, Jesus. So Lord help me make that happen.
It's only possible through you Father.
So tonight, May 31st, I am saying that if you want me to make this into a reality you make it happen.
This is all you God.
Only you."
So God.
I'm done with my excuse that I'm too young. David was too young. So was Timothy. And You did some pretty cool things through them.
Lead me Lord. Show me what to do.
I may be young, but through You I can move mountains.
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12
Pray for me friends, and for the people that need to come together to make this happen, and for the pieces of the puzzle that need to fall into place.
I don't know what this next year will look like for me or for EFM.
But I do know that these aren't my plans. Only the Lord's.
Thank goodness for that.
"For many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand."
Proverbs 19:21
But for some odd reason, this is often the time that the Lord puts on me to write. To share.
So here I am.
For years I have prayed and asked the Lord to lead me where He wants me.
I have asked Him to show me where and how to serve Him.
I have worked at VBS, I have packed meals, I have organized fundraisers, and of course, I spent two months of my summer working as an unpaid intern for Friends of Refugees summer camp.
But yet, when God presented me with an opportunity to grow a ministry that I have fallen deeply and truly in love with, that I have spent thousands of hours at, to serve Him...
I said.. no.
God. No. I am too young. Find someone older. Someone with more experience and contacts and resources.
Anyone but me. I can't do this.
And then slowly, slowly, He has chiseled away at my resistance.
He has softened my heart.
He has shown me that it is not by my own strength to do this, but through and by and for Him and His glory alone.
He has been working this for His glory since that fateful week of camp almost five years ago when I arrived at East Florence Mission for the first ever time to help with the First Pres youth group.
Every lesson I taught in that small building. Every craft I've prepared. Every story I've shared with someone else about how God is moving through that ministry.
All of the things I've learned this summer in Clarkston about ministry and serving families and working with kids and how to lead them to Jesus in a way that helps and doesn't hinder and create disciples.
All of these things.. All for His plans.
His perfect, perfect plans that aren't mine.
So tonight, as I sat through reading old blogs that I've posted about my kids.. as tears rolled down my face at just how much I love them.. as I thought about just how much they have blessed me..
I give in.
I say yes.
You, God, You have put this on my heart for a long long time. You orchestrated that in Clarkston my heart would be burdened for You, and for EFM, and for Your children there.
And so tonight I say yes.
Tonight I realize how you put me in the situations I was placed in, to help me learn.
Tonight I realize how getting extremely sick in Clarkston reminded me that I am in dire dire need of you, as I am not invincible and seriously need You.
Tonight I see how you were teaching me, as I taught the story of David and Goliath to the EFM kids at camp last week that David was also unexperienced and young and only armed with five stones and sling.. but YOU were with him Father, and he killed the giant through you.
So, tonight I say yes to serving you at EFM. Again. In a more serious role this time.
A role that is yet to be defined, but will be a lot more intensive than in the past.
I say yes to helping create a new era of East Florence Mission.
I say yes to knowing that You are good and wise and Your plans are perfect, even when I think they will not work.
Tonight Jesus, I ask you to take this poor broken sinner and use her to bring others to you, to show YOUR glory.
Two months ago, during our orientation week at camp I wrote this down. And tonight, as I re-read it, it hits me even more.
"Lord. I have ideas. Lots of ideas. Lots of things that I feel like You can help me lead.
God I put this in Your hands. I give this to You Jesus.
I am here in Clarkston for six more weeks. And I will serve you faithfully here. But Florence will always be my home. EFM will always have my heart.
I want to make a change for you, Jesus. So Lord help me make that happen.
It's only possible through you Father.
So tonight, May 31st, I am saying that if you want me to make this into a reality you make it happen.
This is all you God.
Only you."
So God.
I'm done with my excuse that I'm too young. David was too young. So was Timothy. And You did some pretty cool things through them.
Lead me Lord. Show me what to do.
I may be young, but through You I can move mountains.
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12
Pray for me friends, and for the people that need to come together to make this happen, and for the pieces of the puzzle that need to fall into place.
I don't know what this next year will look like for me or for EFM.
But I do know that these aren't my plans. Only the Lord's.
Thank goodness for that.
"For many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand."
Proverbs 19:21
There are many things that lie ahead. Stay tuned.
Goodnight y'all.
