Live Counter-culturally: Step Back from Perfection and Step Forward into Community

It's become a cultural obsession for us to have our lives completely put together on social media.

It always seems so much easier to pretend that life is perfect than to admit you have problems. 

But, oh my friend, how much you miss out on when you are trying to pretend your life is perfect.

Social media has created a fake world where we hide our real, messy lives behind screens. 

We only show the things that we want everyone to see. 

Newsflash: the "best self" you put on Instagram is not your real self. 

You are miserable, you are tired, all because you can't seem to put out the perfect image anymore when your real life isn't reflecting that perfection at all.

I know, because I was you. I still am you on many days.

Before I say anything else, you need Jesus. 

You need to run hard to Jesus and recognize that perfection is impossible because we are sinners in need of a perfect Savior. 

But friend, once you've recognized your need for Jesus, you must recognize that you need His people too.

You need the people that sit across from you for 2 hours discussing the goodness of the Lord and the messiness of life and the struggles of giving up pride. 

You need the people that will call you out on your sin when you need it, and the same people that will celebrate the joys of the Lord alongside you.

And I'm going to tell you right now that the random Bible study that you sometimes go to on the 3rd Thursday of every month if all your homework is done is not going to provide that.

You need regular, solid worship with a body of believers in a church. Intergenerational people. 

Those who have walked through life, all stages of life, and can share wisdom with you. We see in scripture where those before us have been reminded of this too.. 

"For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another." Romans 12:4-5 

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." Hebrews 10:24-25

And you need people you can let into your life. To see the real deal of who you are.

The good and the bad, the beautiful and the messy.

You need to have people that are there to hold you up when you are challenged.

And then you need to be right there alongside them when they are going through a season of difficulties and challenges, encouraging them, praying for them, walking alongside them.

As Paul wrote to the church in Thessalonica.. 

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all." 1 Thessalonians 4:11-14

This isn't something I'm casually recommending. You NEED these people. 

And I'm willing to bet that if you are feeling those twinges of acknowledgment in your heart right now, you probably aren't involved in community, or you aren't being vulnerable in your community. And this post is for you.

Ah, but Alana I am good to go on this one! 

I am in a solid church. Great group.  

Really sharing my life with them.

(maybe you're actually in my small group)

Have no fear. This post is for you too.

How are you doing with extending the invitation for others to join your community? 

And how are you doing in actually accepting others into your community? 

Like that girl you NEVER thought would end up in Bible study. 

The one you sometimes wonder if she really belongs in Bible study, because you heard a rumor of where she messed up that one time.

I know you've wondered, because I have been guilty of wondering too.

And each time I have been reminded.. didn't the Father extend so much grace to me? 

You, a wretched, broken sinner who messed up over and over again, brought to freedom in Christ when you least deserved it? 

"But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ, by grace you have been saved." Ephesians 2:4-5

Don't you now have an obligation to extend grace and a welcoming attitude to that girl? 

We cannot make it through this life without a community of believers pushing us on. 

The Lord uses these friends to encourage us, to hold us accountable, to humble us, to remind us of His faithfulness. 

Don't get me wrong, we are still sinners in Christian community. 

We will still hurt each other and have to ask forgiveness. 

But our foundation of friendship is built upon an everlasting rock. 

And that makes it stronger than any other. 

Last August I felt a tug on my heart to do a book study on a Christian book and invite senior girls from my sorority to do it with me. I told the Lord I'd do it, fully convinced that it would just be me and my roommates.

Instead, the Lord has turned it into 12-15 gals meeting at 7:15am weekly to discuss the attributes of God and how absolutely amazing He is. 

Women I NEVER would have put together, in a room, sharing hard life issues and praying together and working through things alongside each other.

The Lord's vision for community is so much more beautiful than ours ever is.

You are not going to find people to actually share your problems with when you're hiding behind the "perfect" Instagram page you've made up only showing the best parts of your life.

Close out the app and put down the phone. 

Pray for community. Seek opportunities to meet with believers. 

Extend grace and welcome to those joining in your community. 

Be real with your people. Let them in. You cannot do this by yourself. 

You might be shocked at how the Lord provides. 

I always am.