His Purpose, Not My Plans

Eleven years on March 24th. I have now lived more than half my life without my mom. Eleven years, and yet, this year it seems to hurt the most. I'm about to hit the biggest moments of my life yet. College graduation. My wedding, beginning a marriage. A new home with my new husband. A career and furthering my education. What I would give to have her there for even one of those. In eleven years, I've learned how to handle situations and circumstances. I know that awkward questions, or responses, can be smoothed over with a couple of graceful words. I've come to terms with the fact that it's often easier just to say she couldn't make it to the appointment with me instead of going into the full story. I've learned how to fake it till I make it with hosting social events in her place. But I haven't learned how to not tear up when a Sara Evan's song from the early 2000's plays on the radio. Or how to face the annual Mother's Day sermon ...

It's become a cultural obsession for us to have our lives completely put together on social media. It always seems so much easier to pretend that life is perfect than to admit you have problems.  But, oh my friend, how much you miss out on when you are trying to pretend your life is perfect. Social media has created a fake world where we hide our real, messy lives behind screens.  We only show the things that we want everyone to see.  Newsflash: the "best self" you put on Instagram is not your real self.  You are miserable, you are tired, all because you can't seem to put out the perfect image anymore when your real life isn't reflecting that perfection at all. I know, because I was you. I still am you on many days. Before I say anything else, you need Jesus.  You need to run hard to Jesus and recognize that perfection is impossible because we are sinners in need of a perfect Savior.  But friend, once you've recognized you...

Five years of blogging for "His Purpose, Not My Plans" and somehow the title still startles me a little every time I see the page. Perhaps you think by now I have a really strong understanding of the concept that the Lord's plans are better than mine and I never doubt Him. Alas, I'm here to tell you that I do not, in fact, always grasp that concept well. But Alana , you may ask , how? why? Because, my friends, I love set boundaries and limits, and being in control, and assuming that I know how everything is going to play out. And, in the spirit of vulnerability: I really, really,   love to think that I know always best. But here is the shocking, hard, cold truth. I don't always know best. I am consistently shocked when the Lord doesn't do what I think He should do. He pushes past the limits that I have set for Him, He puts people in my life that I don't think should be there, throws me into situations I don't think I should be put int...

Hi there. If you know me well enough, you probably have an idea about where this is coming from. If you don't know me, then know that for the past year I've served on the Executive board for the Panhellenic community at USC, specifically directing formal recruitment. And if you don't know what that means, we can just say it's been a heck of a busy year. It's with a bit of a bittersweet heart that I write this post. Sweet, because my time will once again be my own (kinda, wedding to plan and college degree to obtain). Bitter, because this has been such a monumental chapter in my life. I have grown in ways I never thought possible, I have learned skills I never thought imaginable, I have taught things that I didn't understand before, and I have come to have a heart for college women. But, before I pass on my title and take my final bow, there are a few things I would like to say about sorority life. First of all , I am incredibly proud to be a Panhell...

My friend, What a broken world we live in. Relationships are being tested. Political lines are being drawn in households. Beliefs are being questioned. Doubts are arising. It is a challenging time to be a college student in America. For many of us, trying to discover where our beliefs lie, where our values meet up with what we're being educated on.. it feels that we are being pulled in a hundred directions. Perhaps it is more accurate for me to say that it is a challenging time to be anyone in America right now. Neighbors are fighting neighbors. Crime is everywhere. Lies seem common and justice seems rare. No matter where you stand on any of the million disagreements occurring in our country right now, I hope you can agree with me that our world is in a sad, sad state. We live in a sinful world. It is apparent everywhere you turn. And we are constantly facing the consequences of this sinful world. Our time is filled with tearing each other down and building our own...

My friend, It's been a long while since I've written. Let me just say that junior year of college hits like a freight train going at full speed with no warning horns.  Rumor on the street is that people are already asking you what lies beyond graduation. Crazy right ? We have a whole year and some before that.  But we're constantly wondering what lies before us, aren't we? Asking ourselves a million times a day how the decisions we make now will affect us later on. Where will I be in two years, five years, ten years? What city, what state? What will my career be, where will I live? What relationships will I have? Will I be financially stable? Will I be happy? Will I have friends? Will I be married?  It's mind boggling how much time we spend worried, concerned, anxious about the next steps.  My friend, we get into the terrible habit of getting caught up in our worries and our anxieties and instead of going before the Lord and ask...